A Tale from the Diarrhoea

Mama is in town.. arrived on last Friday. Picked her up from Pudu at 2100hrs, and went straight to Kampung Baru for dinner. She sure was starving from the 5-hours bus trip; my sister and I weren’t (we’ve just enjoyed our Secret Recipe an hour before).

She answered “nasik”  when I asked her what to have, so to the Pak Lang’s (near the gerbang there) we were off. And luckily, the lauks there met her appetite, especially the ikan bakar. Bit unlucky, no terubuk, but still the kembongs did just fine.

Me? Yup yup. Not hungry. But neither enough filled. Heheh. See the tank lah bebeh. So I decided to have something not so heavy and not so light, for me. The very first thing crossed in my mind was the char koey teow, but I’m already aware of how not-so-sedap it is there. So I diverted to laksa. Still.. hmm.. didn’t sound so satisfying. Owh.. got bubur also aa? Err.. haa.. yong tau foo. Though just had yong tau foo at Bandar Puteri’s Giant the day before, what the heck – so yong tau foo it is.

Sup aa, kakak. Minum, air kelapa, bijik. Sebijik sorang. 3 bijik.

Then came the air kelapas, followed by my precious yong tau foo soup. Nyum nyum. Yong tau foo – checked – lulus. Air kelapa – checked – err masam!!

Err kak.. tuka boleh.. masam la…

After making up some faces, she did replace my air kelapa with a new one. A not-so-sour one. In fact, very sweet one.

Perghhh.. siap taruk gula lagi nih…

Tank filled. Kak Elin and Mama sent me home, and couple of minutes later, at home I was – reading Ramlee Awang Murshid’s Mikhail – and sailed on.

Very early in the morning, something woke me up, so sudden. Err.. not hantu, don’t worry. That something was actually from inside of my own body.. my tank, to be precise. Off the loo I ran, in a zap. Huhuu.. yup yup. Not sure, whether it was from the yong tau foo or the sour air kelapa, but a severe diarrhoea I was suffering from, for damn sure. 5 trips to the loo in 2 hours, bebeh!

Being a good son as I am, later I joined Mama, Kak Elin and one friend of hers to the museum. Yup yup, made it to the museum. But not straight to the Pameran Senjata Lama. Instead, the very first place I headed to was – err the loo, of coz. The 6th time. And after that, nomore museum trip, nomore drive around town and nomore nothing. The diarrhoea surely did drain everything off my system, turning me into a useless moveless cucumber on the dot. Huhuu.

Went to the clinic – food poisoning, dehydration, demam – said the doctor. Not even 5 minutes the session was, but off my RM45 flew. Huhuu. Anything, doctor.. give me anything. As long as I can make it before the recording starts. Huhuu. Then – went home. Slept for couple of hours, and woke up at around 2000hrs. Yup yup, did take my medicine, thanks for asking. And not long after that – puked. Soooo lega…

45 minutes later, picked up by My Lucky One – and off to the AF concert, where Mama, Kak Elin and her friends were already waiting. Changed my flops into shoes (safety regulation, fyi), and walked into the hall, feeling healthy (at least healthier than few hours prior), and ready to enjoy the show (err.. enjoy ke..)…

And today, lucky for me, the tale has ended (not really, but just take it as it is). Phewww.. though still feeling the ‘sensation’ here and there, but try to pretend that nothing is happening, and keep on acting like a normal healthy non-diarrhoic (is that even a word?) person.

Well.. for you guys out there – watch out for yong tau foo or air kelapa at the Pak Lang’s, near the gerbang there. Pak Lang – sue me, I don’t care. But people, damn I’m telling you the truth. You have the right to not to trust me – and choose to try the mentioned food and always be free to experience it yourself. The suffering.. was indeed.. priceless.


As you watch from your house on the hill
world keeps spinning around you you’re standing still
and a thought rivers enters your mind
something happened once in my life
a fading picture of you that’s so hard to describe
I’ve been where the sun never shines..

That’s alright there’s a change in the story
that’s alright there’s a change in the plan
a twist in the tale..

Face in the mirror head in the clouds
hanging on to a dream that you can’t do without
as it drops like a stone without trace
give what you want take what you need
squeezing so hard there’s no room to breathe
and your flavour has fallen from grace..

That’s alright there’s a change in the story
that’s alright there’s a change in the plan
a twist in the tale..

I saw you dancing
dancing on air
you were lost in the in the starlight
no one but me really cared..

Every question turns out a lie
can’t you swallow the truth for once in your life
I loved you but don’t ask me why..

It’s alright there’s a change in the story
it’s alright there’s a change in the plan
a twist in the tale…

..credits to deep purple.


3 thoughts on “A Tale from the Diarrhoea

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